Labor Day: There is Power in a Union

Money speaks for Money, The Devil for his own
Who comes to speak for the skin and the bone?
The comfort for the widow, the light to the child,
There is power in a union.

Message to the DNC,

We, the voters of the United States who voted in good faith for Hillary Clinton, demand that you give Senator Clinton the day off.  She’s worked tirelessly for your slacker nominee since the day when you stole her delegates from her.

We demand that you compensate her with vacation time and overtime pay.  She has gone above and beyond the call of duty, giving up her own right to promotion in order to sing the praises of the man who hasn’t met a opponent he couldn’t derail or voter he couldn’t brutally suppress.  We estimate that the amount of time that Senator Clinton has put in so far entitles her to take off the rest of the year.

As to the matter of monetary compensation, it goes without saying that we support equal pay for equal work.  You record in this department is sorely lacking.  Hillary Clinton has clearly outworked her opponent and yet you awarded the nomination to him.  We will be filing a complaint with the EEOC accordingly.  We also intend to make sure that you aren’t just paying lipservice to the concept of equal pay in the rest of your organization and will expose you when we find evidence of any discrepancy.  Considering that Senator Clinton is a giant discrepancy, we advise you to remedy the situation immediately.

We demand a benefits package including a guaranteed benefit pension plan, a dollar for dollar 401K retirement savings account, life insurance at group rates and accidental death and dismemberment at 2.5 times Senator Clinton’s salary.  We demand that Senator Clinton be afforded access to a universal health insurance plan for life with a drug benefit, mental health benefit and access to reproductive health services.  This plan should be made available to all people on a sliding scale according to income (not to exceed 10% of total gross income) with tax credits and automatic enrollment.

We also condemn the use of women to do uncompensated work with no definite endpoint and have determined that is reminiscent of human bondage.  We are particularly concerned that Senator Clinton’s statement regarding Governor Palin’s incipient breaking of the Glass Ceiling was met with “will do, for now” from Barack Obama.  This indicates to us that Mr. Obama will continue to insist that Senator Clinton save his bacon in the 2008 election and no reward will be forthcomeing for her.  We believe this is a violation of Senator Clinton’s human rights and an affront to her personal dignity.  We therefore demand that you release Senator Clinton from any further campaigning on Barack Obama’s behalf.  Any further uncompensated work forced upon Senator Clinton in this regard will be referred to Amnesty International for a formal investigation.

We have no expectation that you will bargain in good faith since your recent record is deficient in the extreme.  However, you should note that the true and loyal Democrats have found that there is indeed Power in a Union and we look forward to making the powers that be in the DNC, the powers that were in November.

Enjoy your Labor Day while it lasts.

Sincerely,

The PUMAs

(People United Mean Action)